Year in Review!

This year has been eventful to say the least. I was out of comission for part of it, due to surgery, and then rehab. That kinda sucked! Ha! Couldn’t train for a couple months which led to some very boring days. I mean, there’s only so many videogames a guy can play before he starts to go a little stir crazy, the walls start closing in around him, and he starts hearing voices, hahaha!!

I dropped to featherweight this year too, which was an idea that always stirred in my head, but part of me always thought it was impossible. Well, this year I found out it wasn’t. It’s actually the perfect weight for me. Feel fast and strong at that weight. It takes a lot of motivation to make the weight, but that motivation is something I now have. A lot of drive, a lot of reasons to be at my best.

This year turned the big 30 also, wasn’t looking forward to that by any means, haha!! But I feel blessed to have so many good friends around me. Blessed to still be able to do this, to fight. I forget now, but I think my first pro match was 5 years ago, how time flies?! I had wanted to fight before, but the good mom said I better finish college, which I did. I could have gone against her wishes, but I know when to pick my battles, and going against the mom is not a battle I can win, haha!! In retrospect, it was good I didn’t. I wouldn’t have been prepared if I had fought earlier. I might have beaten some lesser opponents, but not the better ones.

Above you’ll see my first pro match from 2006. It was crazy!!! Calavitta was a two time California state wrestling champ and gave me all I could handle. A truly tough guy! In retrospect, I don’t know what I was thinking having that as my first fight. I was either extremely confident, or extremley crazy…my vote’s for crazy, ha! That was definitely a trial by fire sort of situation. Check it out! I was a striking young lad back then! lol.

Also for next year, the deal is the same! Fight a lot, win, and hopefully manage to not scruff up the beautiful mug too much, lol!

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Circles…

I’ve noticed my blogs tend to be the same lately, well usually the same things keep running through my head is probably why. You know, this last fight was kind of do or die for me. They all are of course, but I’d had a string of bad luck, inside and out of the ring. I’m not one to take set backs likely. They eat away at me, aggravate me to the point of no return. I only thank God, I have all these good people around me. Good training partners, coaches, friends, family, everyone. When the fight is at hand, it’s only you and your opponent, but leading up to that point, you have a lot of support and I have the very best.

Every fight, you’re never completely sure if you going to heaven or hell. I’m always confident, always train hard, always give my all, but you just never know.

The day of my match was like usual for me, for the most part. Listened to a lot of music, but stayed relaxed, I usually don’t try to get amped right before, no wasted energy. When I wrestled in high school, I think that was a big mistake I made early on. I would get so amped, but if the match wasn’t soon after that, it was just wasted energy. When it’s time to warm up, I do it and am completely focused on the task at hand. This last time I felt really good. Mentally I think I was in the very best shape. Not worried about the result, just completely focused. I told myself, no matter what, my opponent would fight the very best me, and he did. It was heaven that day, I don’t know about tomorrow, but regardless I go there with a smile.

Another thing I did that day was watch an episode of Spartacus. Yes, I’m a fan and am really sorry about the main actor. But I saw this one episode in particular. There’s an episode where they send Spartcus to fight in the pits, he’s lost his honor at that point, and his master is just hoping to turn a small profit on him before he dies fighting there. It is not a place people return from. It is a hopeless situation, but he keeps winning, because there is something he must do before he dies, something too important and he survives. I watched that one in particular, because that’s where I saw myself. Struck down by fate or something, but not ready to die, too many important reasons to continue….I have a world of fight left in me, and my best is yet to come, I promise you that.

Heaven or hell, whichever awaits, I’ll meet it with a smile. I’ll meet it with no wimper, but a hollar the likes of which you’ve never seen. I could be satisfied with that. That would be my peace and that’s what I’ll do.

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Salvation in Violence

It’s freaking cold!! haha!!

There are days when you just question yourself, “maybe a day off isn’t such a bad thing,” but a day off could cost you dearly. There are times when rest is needed. You never want to overtrain, but you don’t want to undertrain as well. Getting back into training mode, is much like getting yourself ready to step back into a fire, because the days are long and a lot of the time your body aches. You think, one more day of rest won’t hurt and it might not. But I won’t take that chance, you never know what the next day holds and you have to be prepared. A fight offer or whatever, you never know when opportunity knocks. Also, at those moments when I question myself, I usually think, “I have so many reasons to train, I have so many reasons to fight back and climb this mountain.”

When I lived in Japan, it was not easy at first. At the beginning it kinda sucked actually, couldn’t speak hardly a word of the language, was pretty alone most of the time, but then I met good friends and training partners at Sakaguchi Dojo, and I was pushed to the edge mentally, where I would do anything to succeed. Anything in the world to fight back against some invisible thing holding me down. After that, I did pretty good, won a good bit, won an amateur kickboxing tournament, then won the Neo Blood tournament. Life is hard, but with good friends around you, it is winnable! I know, I have to do everything in my power to achieve my goal. I will do it or die trying.

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Warcry

“Rage, rage against the dying of the light”

A simple day, just about finished relaxing after my last match. Two weeks is about right, my body isn’t completely recovered, but it’s good enough to get back at it. A lot is going on, of course the holidays, my really good friend gets married soon, family birthdays, my birthday, December is busy to say the least. But it’s funny, you can only get so much peace for so long. At least in my case, peace of mind doesn’t last very long at all, am already restless and that itch to train hard is already back.

I have a lot of motivations that drive me, so whatever happens next, I can only promise you I will come with everything!! There is absolutely no quit in me, I’m determined beyond belief! The more difficult things become, the more problems that arise, the more I’m battered, the so very much more I want to fight! I want a life where if I’m destined to fall, let me at least go down swinging for all I’m worth, because a life where you simply give up, is not me.

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Another Day

I’m no one fantastic by any means, I think my siblings can attest to that, ha, but those around me are very fantastic. They are all the reason I need to fight. To those that lift me up everytime I fall, I would go to the ends of the world for. No one special, but I cherish those around me. May I always make you proud, may I always fight till the very end…thanks.

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頭の中

先いい勝ちでした。 でも僕全然満足してない。 痛みはあるからだからもっと強くになる。 辛い思い忘れる事できない。でも痛みはあるから新しい力が生まれってきた。 だから毎日ぼろぼろになるまで練習する。 皆がいつか死ぬでもその前に素晴らしい事する僕。 僕の目的絶対に届く何か何でも。 皆さん応援してくれって何時もありがとうご座います。 あくまでいくんです僕。 力全部だす後悔何もしない!

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Not Dead Yet!

With great Cornermen Chad George and Marcus Kowal. Not pictured is great coach, Vladimir Matyushenko who gave me the great advice, “don’t be nice when you fight!”. Thankfully, I wasn’t! Also notice the cool T-Shirt!

http://www.soulexpressionattire.com

To steal a quote from a cool Anime, Cowboy Bebop: “I’m not going there to die. I’m going to find out if I’m really alive.”

This year has been a crazy one to say the least. At times, utterly fantastic and at other times on the verge of tearing my eyes out. Well, probably not that far, but crazy none the less. This past weekend, was like a new lease on life for me. After a long sojourn through the deepest of hells, I knew one thing, “keep going, just keep going!”.

My whole life, I’ve known what I wanted to do. But as of late I had faultered and really not lived up to my own expectations. And what I ask from myself is a difficult thing I know, but in the end I know it is a journey I am meant to take. Because I can honestly not imagine myself doing anything else. What I find at the end remains a mystery, but I’m as stubborn as they come, and I will make it. Because it’s not a question of can I or can’t I, it’s an absolute necessity. I must! An obsession? Yes. Obsessions are not the greatest of things, but in this case I think it’s required.

November 20, This past Sunday, I’m happy to report I won by third round knock out. I was on point the entire match. It doesn’t erase past mistakes, but it is a step in the right direction. It was definitely a good day. Thanks big time to my training partners over at PKG and VMAT. Everyone I train with is tough and technical and I’m lucky to count them not only as great training partners but great friends. When I don’t perform to my best abilities it is a disservice to all the great people I train with, so I’m happy I could come out with a good win this time out. I had a good opponent, and I want to thank him too for the hard fought match. Now, I’m happy to say the holidays will be a little bit sweeter this year, and turning 30 isn’t going to kill me like I originally thought it was, lol. It’ll still sting a little though, ha.

Right now, I’m relaxing for a bit. I’m at peace, haven’t been able to say that for awhile now. Feels good though. Will be back training soon! Looking forward to whatever match comes next! Thanks guys!

Steve “The Dream”

Pics:
My Peeps!

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Stubborn Old Man

If the heart wants something bad enough, the body will move. It may not want to move, it may fight against you terribly, but if the want is strong enough you make it move for you. Cause there is so much to do, and so little time. There are days where my body screams for a reprieve, but today is not one of those days. The want is strong enough for me, and when the dust settles I will be the one smiling. I will reach my destination no matter the obstacle. I promise you that!

…and for clarification, I don’t consider myself old, it just makes for a good title, ha! Till the bitter end I go!

Adversity introduces a man to himself. ~Author Unknown

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Living

If Anger is a gift, consider me the wealthiest of men right about now. I hope to put it to good use, and not let it consume me, but use it for a better purpose.

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Fight!

I have no idea if there is some higher being in the world. It’s a comforting thought though, what I do know is no one does my fighting for me but me. So I choose to put my faith there, in myself. There is no magic pill, no nothing, just me and my aim is to create havoc with these two hands. May they take me as far as possible, my future is mine to create, all I know is I’ll be clawing my way till the very end with them. Trying to reach the highest of summits, but I hate the word, “try”, because there is defeat in the word, “try”. So I will not try to do anything, I will do it!!

I imagine a mountain and at the top of this mountain there is the silhouette of a man laughing. Laughing at my every stumble, every misstep, but his laughing drives me, eats away at me to my very core. I will continue to climb because the thought of reaching that mountain top and coming face to face with this man, is all I can think of. It permeates my every thought. I would very much like to reach this mountain top, so I may have the pleasure of slapping the snot out of this shadow’s face. I do not need any other motivation. That’s more than enough.

Thanks to everyone, those who support me day in and day out and also the trials that help mold me. With every single pain, there is a lesson. I come with everything! Every single victory, every single failure. I forget nothing and it’s always do or die for me!

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